This charcoal on paper drawing I did is a tribute to my German, Great, Great Uncle Helge Peters-Pawlinin 1903-1981. He danced the Male and Female leads, and was hunted by the Nazi’s for his sexually ambiguous performances. It seemed as if he were his own partner. I have some postcards of him. He’s mentioned in the books, Empire of Ecstasy: Nudity and Movement in German Body Culture, and Until the Final Hour: Hitler’s Last Secretary.
At first I was going to draw a male dancer from a a photo I liked, then I was struck with the idea of how feminine energy is the creative energy in art. Therefore the woman is a bit higher in the drawing. Also I wanted to show how my uncle danced both. In the drawing the forms are one. It took me a few months to complete. After the first day, I almost ripped it up. I had no idea what to do with it. It’s a big piece of paper, the largest I’ve ever worked on. It was thumb tacked to a piece of wood, lying on my living room floor. Everyday I’d walked by it, stood above it, and thought, what in the hell am I going to do with this. I was really having troubles, and it was getting to me. But I know to let the subconscious work, slowly it evolved. Mostly I draw with my hands, shading, and smearing. It is messy. I love caressing the paper. I use baby oil to get a certain effect. And I’m constantly making mistakes, which I welcome. Correcting these mistakes leads to shapes and emotions I didn’t know existed. When I start a piece I have no idea where it will end up. I have no finished vision of what it should look like. I listen to what the paper, images, marks, lines are telling me. It is the most creative space I will ever be in, because they’re are no boundaries. Anyway, here’s to Helge, and to overcoming insurmountable odds.
Christian Daniel Beer.
Daniel Beer 