Finally! Flirting!

I’m in the liquor aisle deciding on what beer to buy. A woman in the cutest little jean shorts is sorta trailing me. She passes and stops in front of the Vodka and Gin. We both have our masks on. Boy, how do I flirt with masks on during a pandemic? But there’s a sexiness about her.
“I’d go with the vodka, ” I say. ” It works great against COVID, but I’d stay away from Lysol and Clorox.”
She laughs, a real laugh, and says “right.”
Even with her mask on I could tell she was blushing.
The masks added something, an unknown anticipation of what I don’t know. I took a picture of her in my head, her presence in case I would see her again without masks. Then and only then we would know.
Daniel Beer

ELEVATOR WITH A SIX-YEAR-OLD

 

In the elevator at the grocery store, I shared the ride with a family of three. The daughter, holding a pink lunch box was no higher than my waist. She quietly announced, “I’m six.”
“Me too, ” I said, ” I grew really fast.”
She glanced at her mom. The elevator door opened, and by chance, we were parked next to each other.
“If I’m six, am I allowed to drive?”
“Yes, because you’re big,” she answered.
“Then, you can drive too, because your six.”
“No, I’m little.”
“No, you’re not you’re big and strong,” I said. “You know why?” She shook her head, and her mom and dad paused as they were packing their groceries into the car. “Because in the elevator you started to talk to me, and that means you’re confident and strong, and big.” I could tell by her expression that she liked that. Her parents did too. Then, the girl told me she was going to the beach. That must be why she had her lunch box.

Little Lost German Boy, Found.

 

I received an email from the German Consulate Los Angeles that read.  “I am pleased to inform you that we have received your Certificate of Citizenship.”   A two year process to regain my German Citizenship that was given up by my parents at the age five to become a United States Citizen.  I remember wearing a suit, which meant it was an important day.  Bare white walls, white ceiling,  the lights bright.   I remember that moment, but I don’t remember your name.

At the age of two and a half Mom and I came to America from Germany.  Before our connecting flight to Rochester N.Y., where my new father was waiting, we landed at JFK.   I remember looking out the egg shaped plane window.   My second birthday was in Peising Germany a Bavarian village with only an onion domed church I could see from my Tante Hilda’s window.  I remember pedaling the green plastic  hollow bodied tractor truck I received for that birthday.  I remember this, but I don’t remember your name.

When I applied to regain my citizenship, I discovered that I was technically still a German Citizen.  It wasn’t my choice at the age of five to become an American Citizen.  Therefore it wasn’t my choice to give up my German Citizenship.  None of this guaranteed me regaining my citizenship.  Many times I had asked Mom about becoming a German Citizen again. “Oh no, I don’t think you can do that,” she said. “It would be impossible.”  She never talked about the old country, nobody in our family really did, which sends the message to a kid that is must be, “not okay.”   Much later I found out why the silence.  Mom had secrets back across the ocean that she had hoped were left under blankets of lies.  A child will lose who they are to  be a part of a family held together by secrets and lies.  Because that is its purpose,  that is how one survives.  With time the questions get answered,  the true pieces of the puzzle show the real picture.   The episodes of all the questions are too long to list.  Maybe this is why I remember these things.  But I don’t remember your name.

The German Consulate is on Wilshire and Crescent, a short drive from where I live.   I wore my best dress shirt, and was clean shaven.  Surprisingly, I was calm and excited.  I hadn’t told anyone in my family.  I didn’t want it to be taken away again.  Today was my day, I was moving forward by going back. I didn’t come to America in steerage.  I came here on a plane as a boy who lost his first language, which I was learning again.  In the waiting room everyone spoke German, and much to my delight I understood  most of it.  When it was my turn to approach the glass divider,  I greeted the woman in German.  Then in English I told here why I was there.                                                                          “How cool  is that?” she asked.                                                                                                            I almost laughed, I was smiling so much.

She handed me the light yellow certificate of citizenship.  I recognized at the top of the document the BUNDESREPUBLIK DEUTSHLAND, and the coat of arms of the Black Eagle for “Federal Eagle.”   It’s on my child passport I still have from when I came to America.   I remember this.  In the middle of the certificate above my birthdate, and the city where I was born Regensburg, I see it. I’ve seen it a million times, but it felt like the first time I see the whole of it.  Mein Name.

Ich heisse Christian Daniel Beer

 

 

Creepshow 2, Stands The Test Of Time

Groovy

Thought you all would dig this. For some reason, I’m seeing a lot of Creepshow 2 on my FBook.  Anyone know why?  Yes, I was in this film. Yes I froze my butt off.  Oh, it was released 31 yrs ago around this time?   Fright Rags is doing these T’s in honor of the release. Fright Rags does high quality stuff, and they are located by coincidence near where I grew up, Rochester N.Y.   I grew up in Honeoye Falls.  Fright Rags did a Raft T years ago, that I’ve signed a few times.  Hopefully, I’ll get to sign one of these. No, I do not received any royalties from sales of these T-Shirts.  Posting this for any fans of the film, who would like this.   Crazy how long ago it was.  So much fun that the film keeps being rediscovered.

It’s an honor to be immortalized on a T-shirt!

21 Jump Street

Nemesis.  Toadman

Here are some great memories of guest starring with Richard Greico, and my fellow cast mates.  The show was filmed in Vancouver.

The director Ken Wiederhorn had to fight for me to get the part of Toadman. The network didn’t see a  young leading man playing the part who’s name comes from doing too many mushrooms. They saw the part going to a weird character actor. The director said, “Wait till you see this kid Daniel act.”  Ken told me that on the set. Television moves so fast that seldom does a director fight for an actor.  That day I thanked him. Thanks again Ken. Love you for that.

I’m a highly trained actor. An Actors Studio member. I started training at 18 yrs of age, and I still study at The Studio.  For Toadman I worked on an animal exercise. What kind? A gorilla.  A friend of mine saw the episode and said, “you don’t walk like that.”  Exactly I was slightly using a gorillas walk.  Also, I was so much taller than the other actors, Ken kept asking me to slouch, so a gorilla is slouched.  Acting is so much, when you have training.  Yes, I worked on other things for the character too.

Richard Greico and I hit it off. It was his first solo episode; he had a lot riding on it. He made sure we were okay with everything on set.  You can see in our scenes that Richard and I were really having fun. Richard is so unaffected by stardom. Down to earth guy.   He’s a helluva artist, you should see his paintings.

The photo of all of us sitting on the picnic table takes place in the morning at the high school.  You can see in the photo that I’m holding a book. It’s the book Less Than Zero, which I was reading at the time. And I was drinking a coke. None of which was in the script. I added it, thinking what would I be doing in this scene before school starts. I remember the stoners from school would be drinking soda. I wanted Toadman to be smart, so I added the book.  The director loved it, but right before we shot he had to clear the coke with the network. If coke sponsored the show?  Yes they did.  Another scene I start by writing in my journal.  I wanted Toadman to be smart.  I added so many little things like that to Toadman.  The director gave me free reign.   At The Actors Studio West Martin Landau would always tell us, ” eighty five percent of an actors work is never seen.”  I miss you Martin.  In the episode Nemesis I got to really use many things I learned studying as an actor.  I thought you all would get a kick out of these behind the scenes photos and stories.  Oh I have more, like partying in a stretch limo. But some memories I’ll keep for myself.

 

 

Vignettes Of My First Horror Con, And An IHOP.

“Sunday Morning IHOP.”

I extended my Sunday check out time from the A-Loft hotel in Winchester VA till Two in the afternoon. My flight out of Dulles Airport wasn’t till early evening, plenty of time to find somewhere to exchange  some twenty dollar bills for larger ones.  I had just done my first Horror Con, The Four State Slasher Con, and I had a bunch of twenties.  I ended up at a nearby IHOP.  As I stood in front of the cashier at the hostess stand I was struck by how culturally diverse the clientele  was, Latin families, white families, black families, it was a melting pot in the IHOP.  Everyone was nice to each other, small talk and pleasantries exchanged. There was no food fight going on, no bigotry, ignorance, racism or intolerance being served with pancakes and scrabbled eggs.  The alarmist media  would have you believe other wise, that were all at each others throats. Anarchy in America.  I have a hunch Winchester VA is like all small towns, and city neighborhoods, where the majority are decent hard working folks, who actually have to tolerate the fringe in their communities.  Now I don’t know what people say in private. I do know the IHOP that Sunday Morning was packed.   They had some fifties for my twenties. Why wouldn’t they, business was great.

“A Man Called Hoss Is Smarter Than The Studios Think”

Hoss told me he saw my movie, Creepshow 2 Sixty times.  I was dumbfounded, and flattered beyond words. He quoted some lines.  Hoss had a medical cane, stood around 6 feet, and had the build of a high school football linemen. He was missing a couple front teeth, and his eyes didn’t really make contact with you.  He had on Cincinnati Bengals gear.  “You a fan?” I pointed to his baseball cap.

“Nah, my wife is.”

He was so excited to meet me. I think I was just as excited to meet someone who saw my movie sixty times.

Later I did my first panel discussion. Hoss was really looking forward to being  a part of it. The moderator skipped past him with his hand up for a question.

“Hold on a sec,” I pointed to Hoss. “Hoss, you have a question.”

He asked me one of those “How,” questions, “How did they, How did you do?” then he asked, why don’t they make movies with stories, and better characters? That was a question that was repeated through out the panel.   I kept thinking that if a studio executive or an editor at a publishing house were sitting here they would judge Hoss and others by how they looked and talked. They would underestimate their intelligence.  They pretty much underestimate everyone’s intelligence.

“They underestimate you Hoss,” I said. “And it takes more work to come up with great characters and stories.”

“I like the Walking Dead,” He said.  Everyone’s head nodded, and here and there I heard an affirmative “yeah.”

“TV has become better than films,” I said.

Again I saw heads nod.

“The Panel Discussion Was More Than That. It Was Overcoming A Personal Obstacle.”

Early in my career I never wanted to do an interview, media or any of it.  I made some excuses that sounded cool, and above it all. I was negative towards it, putting it all down.  Really, I was terrified of the endeavor.  Because when ever you are negative and put something down it is to overcompensate for your own insecurities, inadequacies, and fear. I’m not a good public speaker. For some reason I get emotional. I think that people can see through me right to my insecurities and etc…..  After I began to speak into the microphone at the panel discussion, I felt that same old emotion. About a minute into it it all went away.  I felt it drain from my head down through my shoes, through the floor. I waited for it to resurface. Nothing.  It vanished.  This is fun, I thought, I’m good at this. I prepared what I wanted to talk about.  You got this, Daniel, you got this.

After the panel discussion people kept coming up to us, saying how much fun it was. It was more than that.

“Tail Gate Party AT Thirty Five Thousand Feet.”

On my flight home the woman sitting next to me switched seats with this other woman who had to take care of her ailing husband. When the woman sat between me and this other guy, she says let me buy you guys a round of drinks. Sure. Well row 12A turned into a tail gate party because of her. She was great. About an hour into the flight and a vodka tonic later-she was drinking me under the tray tables, I’m a light weight-she asked me,”are you single?”
She had told me she had a boyfriend.
“Yes, I am,” I answered.
“Are you dating now, I mean do you want to date?”
“No, not really.”
I knew where she was going with this.
“Oh, that’s too bad,” she said. ” I have a friend who’s super successful, and owns a couple of boutique clothing stores.”
She told me the name, and I’d heard of it. A really high end, hip store, the kind you’d find next door to The Ivy.
At that moment I realized I should have said, I don’t do blind dates, because I really don’t. Instead I said, “Well, I’m sure the women I work with would want me to go out with your friend so they could get discounts.”
By her response it was the better thing to say.

P.S.  A big thank you to everyone who worked on The Four State Slasher Convention.  You can find them on Facebook. It was their first Horror Con. They did a great job.  And they are incredibly decent people, always doing the right thing.  And thank you to the town of Winchester VA. I wrote a post on my fan page about the folks there. The post has gone viral in that region.  I was so impressed with the hospitality.  The whole experience was humbling.